Friday, 25 November 2011


I am thinking about this thing about getting married, is it a good idea? 
Since I’m not married myself (and never have been) but was thinking of doing it soon (as soon as a find a appropriate husband:-) I decided to interview one of my best friends Rebecka who I’ve known for about 13 years about it. Rebecka lives in Stockholm, works as a lawyer and is happily married to her husband César, they have a little daughter together. 

L: -Hi Rebecka! You are 32 years old now, how long have you been married? 
R: I have to look on the inside of my ring… From june 3 2006 it says. More than five years.

L; Have you changed as a person after getting married? 

R: No

L: -How long into the relationship do you recommend one should get married? 
R: At least two years. 

L: -Do you find that most people around you are married or are planning on getting married soon?
R:  No, all of my friends get children unmarried. Very booring.

L: -Do you feel you have to take more responsibility or sacrifice more things as a married woman? 
R: No, why? The big difference is to have children, not to be married.

L: -What do you think  are  the biggest adventages and disadventages  of  being married, compared to not being married? 
R: I actually don't think that it is such a big difference. To live with someone in a serious relationship is almost the same thing. To live together with someone is a big step from just dating. And to have children together is a big step from just living together. Marriage for me is more about legal matters it does not change that much. Advantages are that you own everything together and that the child automatically is registered as a child of both the parents. Disadvantages could be that if the child has a different father you have a problem… If you want to get divorced and did not sign prenuptial agreement it could be either an advantage or a disadvantage.

L: -Do you feel that people have more respect for you when they see you have a ring on your finger? Does that give you some kind of extra authority? 
R: Maybe. People usually think that I'm younger than I am. In my occupation thats not a good thing. With the ring I probably look a bit older and more serious.

L: -Where do you think is the best place to find a husband or wife our age? 
R: Usually someone you already know. Otherwise through other married friends or unmarried couples. I don't think you find a husband in the bar at 3 am… Maybe the internet. (I have no experience from that.)

L: -Would you recommend people to get married? 
R: Definitely. If not for other reasons to have a party. As a lawyer I do think it is important to think about what you bring into the marriage and maybe draw a prenuptial agreement.

L: -Do you ever think I will get married and in that case when? 
R: Why not! When you meet the right guy. And when you feel ready to commit. 

Thanks for your thoughtful words Rebecka!

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