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-Hello? No, I can't take a cab to Hôtel Costes right now, I'm trying to sleep, goddamnit!
Insomnia!! (Not again) AAAAH! What to do?
Believe me, I have had my share of this fashionable
disorder during the last couple of months. Have no clue why. Never happened
before in my life. I've always been able to sleep like a baby 10 minutes
after I lay my head on the pillow. Some
might think that sleep deprivation is part of a chic outgoing lifestyle, but I
can tell you it’s actually hell. You’re lying there, eyes wide open, brain
spinning while your body is turning around between the sheets like a garment
in a washing machine. You could say I had some time thinking. Trying and figuring
out some DO'S and DONT'S while in this condition:
DO:
1. Read books. Interesting, educating and will put you to
sleep slowly. I’ve already recommended you so goddamn many books on this
blog you know by now that I like to read biographies, books about finance
and world economy or other educative topics.
2. Check out You Tube tutorials about
interesting subjects such as;
(This is not ironic, I do actually find those subjects interesting.)
3. Put on soft background music on low volume. Solomun, Air, Philip Glass or other elevator music works good in this purpose. Close
your eyes. Relax. Imagine yourself naked
wrapped in white linen floating around one meter from the ground in a huge castel during the Renaissance era /alternatively resting in a sunchair in the shadow on the beach in St Barth
holding your lovers tanned hand while sipping on a cold margarita...
4. Take a long hot shower, or bath. Dim down
all your lights. Light a couple of your most sophisticated smelling Diptyque
candles and make a cup of detox or relaxing tea. (Alternatively smoke a joint if
you are into that.)
5. Watch interesting documentaries that you can find streaming on the net. Docutube is perfect for that. Last one I saw was ”Cityboy” about Investment banker Geraint
Anderson in London, who also wrote a book with the same name about the dark side of the finance world.
6. Skype/chat on facebook/talk on the phone
with someone you like or with a dear friend. Let them convince you that
everything is wonderful and that you’ll be alright…(If no one is awake to chat
with, try your nearest neighbor, knock on the door and ask if he or she is up
for a late night poker session.)
7. If you have a bf or gf, go over to their
place and sleep. It’s 100 times easier to fall asleep if you have
another person to hug next to you. You relax in another way and instead of
seeing mortgages and ugly people not answering e mails when you close your
eyes, you see rainbows, unicorns and fluffy clouds while you’re listening to
another persons heartbeats…could it be better?
8. Write. (Might not work if you're not a writing person like me) A book, your memoirs, a new business plan or just about
your day in your diary or blog.
9. Contact a medium online. (only 29 € for a consultation.) Ask
him/her about your future husband/wife, what Ivy League school your children are gonna go to, and in which bar in Bangkok the brother of your future venture capitalist who is gonna invest in your start up in order to bring in the big bucks can be found.
10. If nothing else work. Put on a sleeping
mask, earplugs and swollow a sleeping-knock-out pill.
* Bonus; Morph your face with any celebrity or with your bf/gf/someone you like and see what your future baby would look like. Fun. I made soooo cute baby's I had to save them on my puter. (silly, I know) Find it here.
* Bonus; Morph your face with any celebrity or with your bf/gf/someone you like and see what your future baby would look like. Fun. I made soooo cute baby's I had to save them on my puter. (silly, I know) Find it here.
AVOID:
1. To eat huge calorie rich dinners before
going to bed and to drink coffee. When you stuff large quantities of food into your
mouth late at night, the intelligent organism of the body processes it and activates the digestion, circulatory
and nervous systems, which
keeps you awake..
2. To think about sad stuff and things that
bothers you in general. /Extremely non cool stuff you have to deal with in the
coming weeks, like changing apartment, mortgages, people not answering
important e-mails, stalkers, etc…
3. To watch scary or horror movies or tv shows
about mediums trying to get rid of dead and lost souls haunting peoples homes.
(I’ve done this mistake sevaral times. NOT to recommend, you are up until dawn
after, guaranteed. Too afraid to even move.)
4. To Skype with people in Australia of Tokyo or likewise. When you see the sunshine (in the middle of the night for you) behind your friends relaxed and tanned face and his/her bleached teeth smiling at ya, your not only gonna wish you were playing squash at Bondi Beach, you're also not gonna be tired anymore...
5. Having the volume on your cell turned up. (and the cell next to you in bed) All the textos/mails/alerts you gonna get are just gonna make you jump up and
check it - and therefor waste another 5 minutes of your prescious beauty sleep.
You can deal with your drunk mates, booty calls and needy friends later.
6. Listening to anything at all by Skrillex
7. To be in contact with any sort of party person
in your nearby surroundings. They are just gonna try to fool you out to some
opening or some crazy afterparty at Hôtel Costes anyway…
8. The intake of any sorts of drugs that you
have to call someone to get.
9. Trying to figure out the meaning of life. (Classic) Your brain is just gonna speed up and spin and it’s gonna be even harder to get some sleep. Bad idea.
10.
Bonne Nuit.
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